Hollyoaks star James Sutton breaks silence on sexu.al abuse at 14 as he embraces male mental health safe spaces
‘I’m doing great! I’ve genuinely never been better,’ Hollyoaks legend James Sutton enthusiastically told me when we sat down together to talk male mental health recently.
The positive energy coming off the actor, known for his role as fan-favourite John Paul McQueen, was infectious, and transported us both into what felt like a really productive and safe space.
It’s a vibe that he has effortlessly managed to create for guests on his new podcast series, Male Mind Matters, which will feature a range of in-depth, honest, insightful conversations between himself and a male guest, always with a link to the topic of mental health and wellbeing.
He is full of passion and determination to break down the barriers stopping so many men feeling able to speak out, and I feel humbled that he was able to go on to trust me with his own insights into difficult personal experiences he rarely touched upon previously.
Rather than a Q&A format, James’ approach for his podcast is to participate just as actively and explore his own journey and vulnerabilities alongside his guest and, it was during a chat with Duncan Craig OBE – head of We Are Survivors, an organisation which supports male survivors of sexual abuse – that he found himself organically mentioning an ordeal he has never spoken about before.
It wasn’t something he set out as a plan for the podcast episode, James told me, explaining: ‘It felt brilliant to have an open dialogue in a safe environment with somebody. I’m quite honest in that chat about a few things that are quite personal to me because it’s a safe space.
‘It felt like a natural thing to do and say what I’ve been through.’
Elaborating on his situation during our conversation, James recalled feeling ‘vulnerable and un-equipped’ at the age of 14, when an older man groomed and sexually abused him.
Sharing his story with me, he said: ‘I was made to feel like a grown-up, like I was in an adult environment hanging out with older people. For a 14-year-old, you feel cool and listened to.
‘To have an abuse of trust where somebody put their hands on me was very difficult to process and come to terms with.’
With the support of loved ones, James did make a report of what happened to him to the police and, while admitting that the process often felt cold and clinical, he is vehement to me that he has no regrets and is rightfully proud of himself for making a stand.
Since then, he feels he has managed to move forward with his life and his thoughts are of those who are unable to find that safe space to speak out.
‘It’s not something that’s affected me in my adult life,’ he reflected. ‘I put it behind me and it could’ve been a lot worse. I’ve got a very loving family and great support around me. A lot of people rallied around me.
‘But it does make you think about this level of abuse of trust, friendship and power that is out there, and more prevalent than you think. There’s a lot of guys out there who have never mentioned it or been to a therapist and discussed it and they’re carrying that weight with them. It can have ramifications and can affect you in your adult life.
‘Hopefully through this podcast and through the work that Duncan’s Survivors are doing, more men will feel they have the strength and the courage to speak up and get help so we can move forward as a society.’
Of course, the podcast is not the first way James has been pivotal in shining a light on the subject matter. The actor first met Duncan while working on a Hollyoaks storyline around the rape of his character John Paul.
James is fiercely proud of both the storyline and Hollyoaks’ position in leading discussions around real-life issues, but filming the story inevitably did bring back some memories of what he went through at 14.
‘It’s tricky because I’d kind of put it all to bed emotionally and dealt with it and it’s not something that has affected me on a day-to-day basis but I could definitely draw on the vulnerability I’ve experienced.
‘It’s a real-life experience and any actor will tell you that if you’re playing a part, you want to lend a bit of yourself to the character and want to come to it with a level of authenticity. That’s when I feel I am doing my best work.
‘I knew how it felt to be vulnerable. That’s the biggest thing for me. I knew how John Paul was feeling going to the police and having to speak about these things, being very open to strangers. I was very young, and John Paul was a little older, but that vulnerability is how you feel in those instances. You do almost revert to an almost childlike kind of state.
‘You do want a hug from your mum and feel like you’re not equipped to deal with it. I wasn’t at 14. John Paul wasn’t at 30. I think to some extent my lived experience brought a sincerity to my work that day.’
The crisis of male mental health in the UK remains frightening. Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50, accounting for nearly three-quarters of all suicides. While it is widely accepted that over time, discussion around male mental health has positively increased, there is still a very long way to go.
‘If you don’t have a safe space to give you the platform to have those conversations, men can go down a dark path with mental health struggles and the male suicide rate is still through the roof,’ James continued.
‘I really want to make this podcast a tool in people’s arsenal that they can listen to and think, “If James and these people are speaking about these subjects, and the things that affect me and all of these men, then it’s ok for me to talk about these things with a friend, or a therapist, or a doctor or family member.” Just to get this conversation out of your own head. That’s ultimately the ambition.’
It’s something I can relate heavily to. Speaking out about my demons eventually saved my life and I have since been very open, through articles and conversations, about my own suicide attempt.
Frightening and intimidating at first, it turned out to be one of the most liberating things I ever did and I have never looked back. Like James, it’s something I wish for everyone feeling that way to be able to find that safe space.
As we discussed this, it turned James’ thoughts to another upcoming guest, as he shared: ‘I actually recorded a show last week with a guy who has had a suicide attempt. The manner and maturity that he speaks about his own struggles, I think people are really going to get a kick out of it.
‘People who are struggling are really going to feel validated in a way because it’s a really f*****g lonely place when you’re feeling like that. You’re in your own head and it’s a scary, lonely, awful time for somebody. I’m hoping that some of these dialogues and conversations will speak to people.
‘I’ve got a guest coming on in a few weeks to talk about anxiety because I’ve always suffered with anxiety. I’ve spoken publicly about panic attacks before. But I didn’t have a reference point. It just wasn’t available back then. I was very much lost in my own head.
‘Recovering from a panic attack would often take six months to get over. I thought I was going insane. These conversations can only be a positive thing for people to hear.
‘I’m getting men from all walks of life, different backgrounds and careers. I’ve got a rapper coming on from London soon who has struggled with schizophrenia. I’m trying to get a cross-section so that people can connect with my guests and also find some comfort and solace.’
Focusing on his wellbeing, fitness and physical and mental health, James has found himself in a really strong place, and so it couldn’t be a better time for him to pile some positive energy into the podcast.
The actor told me as our chat started to reach a comfortable close: ‘I’m fit and healthy, and I make much better choices and decisions with alcohol and late nights and other untoward temptations. I’ve got a fantastic girlfriend. I love the work that I get to do on Hollyoaks and launching this podcast is a testament to that.
‘If I wasn’t doing so well, I wouldn’t have the tools to put myself out there like this. It is a vulnerable thing, starting a podcast. I’m really looking forward to talking to people who have also been through similar things. I’ve got a lot of similarities to the guests who I’m having on in one way or another, and I’m looking forward to having that connection with people.
‘I love listening. I love storytellers and ultimately, I love people and getting to know them. This podcast gives me the opportunity to do that from a position of strength. I couldn’t have done this show 10 years ago. I wasn’t taking good care of myself. Mentally I was a bit of a car crash, truth be told.
‘It’s that awful thing of being in the midst of mental health issues but not dealing with them at all in the correct way, just covering them up and blanking them out. I was partying too hard. It’s all just a mess when I look back on that period of my life. But now, I’m doing great.’
